Punching Harvey

This photo is of my home in Port Aransas not long after Hurricane Harvey. It's not my house, as in, I don't own it. It's the rectory of Trinity by the Sea Episcopal Church, Port Aransas, Texas, where I have found my home in rectory, at a church, on an island, in an amazing community, that just got devastated by Hurricane Harvey.

I have a couple of friends who came to the island the day after, and I've talked to other locals who rode out the storm; the saw the island in even worse shape than I ever saw it. I remember, like a dream, during the storm being in College Station and so desperately wanting to see pictures, and to know how bad it was, and what was left to come home to. It was bad. I heard from the Mayor and City Manager in those first days that every building in Port Aransas incurred some degree of damage, whether 20 percent or 100 percent. In the month that has passed, people have learned more and more about exactly how the disaster damaged their property, and we are beginning to get an idea of what it will take to rebuild our home.

One of the first things I did, was set up an appointment with my therapist, James Hollis,  because I knew, as a priest in this community, I would need some spiritual/psychological support. I call him once a week, and I think it helps me be fully present to others, though, I still get angry at people from time to time. I got pissed off at the guy who called me late one night and told me he had driven into town to rebuild my house because God told him to. I didn't know this guy, and I am already feeling vulnerable. We already have a contractor who is working on rebuilding the church's rectory. I called the police, and they helped him find a way to help in our community...I hope.

I'm angry that this all happened, and the (playful) language I've been using to talk about that feeling of anger is that I want to punch Harvey, but since I can't punch Harvey, I might punch whomever comes along.

"Nature was doing it's naturing." That's the way James Hollis put it to me, referring to the reality of this hurricane which we personified by naming it Harvey is just a storm that encountered the place where I happen to live; the place I consider my home. Nature's storm left me feeling angry about the trauma I experienced through the destruction. I can't lash out at a bundle of energy that has dissipated (all over Houston) and so, I carry that frustration and anger within me, and I might just pin it on you over the littlest thing.

People do this in a variety of ways by saying (screaming, all over Facebook or to whomever will listen) "Where is [State or Federal Agency] when we need them?" I interpret the frustration as wanting to pin the feeling of violation on some external authority. Someone needs to be to blame. Could it be FEMA, Red Cross, The City, The Church, Sinners, That guy who drove to volunteer in a way that isn't helpful?  

We feel attacked, and our instinct is to fight back, and the storm that we called "Harvey" is a gentle breeze, and water in a bayou (and mold in our walls) now. One way I sought to to sacramentalize this experience was to buy a punching bag. I've hit it a number of times, and the release of energy feels good. On one side of the punching bag, I wrote "Harvey" cause that's what we call it. Harvey hit, and we can hit it back, symbolically, and playfully. On the other side I wrote, "Don't take out your aggression on others, but do become aware of your own suffering, and heal yourself through showing compassion!"

I hope, beginning with myself, that the punching bag will be a reminder to pay attention to the anger, frustration, and suffering, to release that in a healthy way, and to turn toward the healing power of showing compassion towards others. We will all need help in lots of ways, and we can become stronger for surviving this storm. Port Aransas, our home, can be a more beautiful community if we support each other compassionately, and take responsibility for our own recovery as much as we can, ask for the type of help we need, and receive the support our governmental and ecclesiastical institutions can offer.

The church is here to support in the ways it, we, can. The Episcopal Church will be here long term, to see our recovery through as far is it can, and to support us to think creatively to rebuild our community. Here's Trinity by the Sea's focus: 1. Building our School, 2. Helping PAISD Families Come Home, 3. Supporting Mental/Spiritual Health, 4. Supporting our Community Life. The Diocese if supporting us in so many ways with volunteers, funding, supplies, and spiritual support. They are also asking what we need before they barge in and inform us how God told them to help out. (As I wrote a friend, "I'm grateful for our Episcopal piety and polity.")

This I know: Each time I meet with someone in Port Aransas, I am home. It will be awhile until I move back into Trinity by the Sea's Rectory, but my home is safe and sound. My church family gathers for worship, my friends check in on one another, my neighbors are helping each other build. People are fishing and surfing whenever they can, and restaurants are opening. We've come a long way, and we are moving into the more sustainable pace of the long term recovery efforts of the next few years. It will take a lot of grace, being aware of how we can tend to our own emotional state, and lots of cooperation to rebuild. We've already begun. As we approach one month out from Harvey (Come celebrate Sunday, Aug 24, 12:30 at Robert's Point Park Pavilion) we  can remember that we've come a long way since that storm rolled through, that no one caused it, and we are trying our best envision and re-create our home here in Port Aransas.