seeking to pay attention

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Most days, if I slow down enough, I remember to be grateful for the simple miracles of life. They almost feel like jokes at times, like when I pick up my phone to call John Price and he is calling me right then, too. (It has happened twice this week.)

Then there are the greater things like a few years back, when my soul got so stirred up, and situations in my life became disturbed enough that I started looking for a new ministry opportunity on the coast, and then when I made a phone call to a diocese I once lived in, there was this recent opening at Trinity by the Sea, Port Aransas. (And four years later, I am falling ever more in love with this place and it's people.) I wouldn't dare try to explain how those things happen, I just marvel that they do. Looking back at journals through my life, going way back to High School, I describe the subtle urges as Spirit-nudges. When there is something alogical, a tug in the direction of a decision, or just having a gut feeling that what was planned should be abandoned. I try to listen to those Spirit nudges. Sometimes I stubornly ignore them (and when I do, life often becomes more difficult than it seems it needs to be.)

I like to compare that experience of going-with-the-Spirit's-flow to swimming in the San Marcos River. When I lived in San Marcos, a swim at the falls was a regular occurance, and I learned to respect the power of the flow of water. I learned to pay attention, and to work with the current rather than against it; always aware that things could change.

I should say that this is not the only way I make all my decisions; I engage logic plenty, and make reasoned plans, and weigh tangible factors. I want to share the Spirit nudge aspect because we are often taught to ONLY use the logical way. There is a deeper mystery to things, dwelling below or behind, and it is such a blessing to seek to pay attention to that reality.

The Inner Journey Retreat has been an important part of my learning to listen to the Spiritual dimensions of life. Going to my first Inner Journey came from one of those nudges (with help from the admonition from a friend to "Get my ass to the Inner Journey Retreat.") There I learned the dynamics of my psyche, how to pay attention to complexes, how to work with my dreams, and how to live a fuller life, more aware of how I serve something much greater than me. I am so grateful for my Inner Journey Community, too. They help me continue to pay attention to the invisible, spiritual reality of life. It has made me a better priest and person.

This is only half an ad for the upcoming (April 17-21)  Inner Journey Retreat, the other half of my intention in this reflection is for Lent, when we seek to adhere to practices that draw us closer to God; that help us prepare to experience the death and resurrection of Jesus in Holy Week and Easter.

Whatever this reflection may stir up in you when you read it, I encourage you to pay attention to your soul's needs. It will not lead you astray (though the journey may be winding!) It will lead you to wholeness and connection.

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