confession

-
I have a confession: I'm judgemental.  I know, "...judge not, lest ye be judged," right? That's why it's a confession; not something I'm proud to know about myself, I just know it. I've fought against being judgemental as long as I can remember. I even judge other people for being judgemental. (Let's add hypocrite to the list...it's easier for me to see my problem in others.) Here's how I tend to judge people; here's how I might judge you: I see your car in the parking lot taking up two spaces, and there are no more spaces. In my mind I begin weaving stories about what a selfish person you must be. OR I see a bumper sticker on the back of your car that expresses some hateful worldview, and I make up a story about how you are hateful. OR I may even see you frowning your way through the grocery store, never making eye contact with anyone and (again) I make up a story about how you are so bitter at the world, and you resist showing love to others. 

Then I see someone I know coming down the aisle and the critical, judging monologue is in my head defeated. My silent judgemental perspective on the world cannot stand up to the real live human beings whom I actually know. My judgemental attitude does not survive the piercing, transformative energy of love that grows in relationships. As long as I don't know someone, I can fall into the temptation of judging (and making up a whole story about that person's life.) When I take the vulnerable risk of relationship, judgement is replaced by something much greater. 

I know this because I've experienced and witnessed that transformation again and again. I'm in the relationship business. My work is about putting people in relationship with one another and with God. The central action (and what informs the life of our community) is the act of Communion. We eat together with God. We become community through a shared meal. That leads to lots of other great things like sharing a cup of coffee and a story; discovering a relationship with God; teaching spiritual practices and why they are difficult; our day school has a lot to do with building relationships between among the children and teachers. 

When we remember the complexity of humans, and risk getting to know one another as fellow human beings, the survivalist instinct to judge thaws and melts away. When we actually meet and discover how God is at work in one another's lives, we can no longer depend on the weak labels we may try to apply to one another. So for now, until we can actually get to know one another, when that judgemental voice comes up in my mind I will try to remember that I shouldn't trust it. I will try to remember that even if you take up two spaces in a crowded parking lot. You are still a human being, and God dwells in your heart. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

plastic: a spiritual perspective

-
Image
Plastic bag in front of Trinity by the Sea On a recent trip to Austin, I was surprised and delighted not to be handed a plastic bag when I checked out of a grocery store. I wasn't buying much, so I was able to carry out my things without remembering to bring in my reusable bags. For some time now, I've gotten in the habit of turning down plastic bags in convenience stores when they try to put my humble bag of sunflower seeds, lonely, in another bag. The plastic grocery bag has become like a handshake at the end of the deal: it seems to make the shopping experience complete. It is such an ingrained habit, that the person behind the cash register sometimes gets a suspicious look when I ask for no bag, as if thinking, "This yahoo is threatening our way of life!" I think about habits a lot, as a Christian of the Episcopal persuasion. Our practices and our experiences in everyday life shape the way we understand our relationship with God, with others, and with ours...
Read more

Stay Salty Y'all

-
Image
  Sunday, September 29: Be Salty for Jesus! Reflection for church while my back heals.  Welcome everyone to another church on the beach. Fr. James is dealing with his back injury, and sent this reflection to read, so here it goes.  I spent Thursday morning planning for the next two weeks, anticipating that I might need a medical procedure. As I did so, I marveled at how many amazing leaders we have within our church. I was focusing on the worship service, and leading worship on Sundays is a only portion of what we do as a church community, but it is an important part of what we do. It is where we gather together to reorient to God, to open our hearts to the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and to listen for inspiration from Jesus. How fitting that we gather on the beach today to hear Jesus remind us to be salty. Do we have it easier, here beside the sea? We can hardly help but be salty around here. I want to start with that, which is where Jesus lands his somewhat meandering messa...
Read more

Falling out of boats

-
Image
Reflection for Morning Prayer July 28, 2024 Trinity by the Sea Some of you may not remember the first time you stepped onto a boat, or more to the point, the first time you fell out of a boat. Most of my falling-out stories are from the San Marcos River misjudging an eddy around a bend, the bow pulled suddenly in the opposite direction from what I expected, then pushed sideways up against a submerged root that gives loft to the bow sending two paddlers into the drink. Fortunately, all of those occasions eventually ended with laughter. Then there are those moments of non-commitment, like standing one foot on a log that had fallen across the river, foot in the canoe, and quickly realizing the mistake. A similar thing can happen on the docks here, at least with smaller boats. Stepping into a boat takes commitment. One foot on land and one in the vessel is a short-lived exercise in balance and stretching beyond the ability of most yogis. Be on land or in the boat, not in both places at o...
Read more