Religion and Relationships

-

I have a friend who is in her 90's who told me the story of when she her boyfriend eloped because they were of different Christian denominations and their parents forbade them to be wed. While that is not the only sort of "religion and relationship" I'm thinking of, it does illustrate a poor parental relationship for religious reasons. We often blame our bad decisions on religion even quoting bits of scripture to back up our agenda. 

More broadly than the romantic relationship is importance of all our relationships. They are perhaps the most religious thing we can experience. Of course within this realm is our relationship with God. I heard a Bishop speak to a group of clergy and he taught about the greatest commandments: "'Love the God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and ...love your neighbor as yourself.' There are countless ways to love your neighbor, and only one way to love God." He looked at us allowing to worry that he might call on us to answer the "one way." Then he smiled and said, "The one way to love God is to love your neighbor."


I've just celebrated my 14th Christmas in Port Aransas so I've had some time to develop some real relationships. Not just surface acquaintances, but relationships that include joy and disappointment, celebration and disagreement, mistakes and forgiveness, neglect and reunion. Those relationships are where the reality of religion takes place. I know some don't like the "R" word, so let me say what I mean by religion: it is the container and community that passes down the teachings of what it means to be in relationship with God, as well as the place to practice those teachings. Church does not exist for it's own sake, but to share the teachings of Jesus, and practice the way of love. 

The way of love is taught slowly over time, with patience, and once again, in relationship. Reading the Bible helps, certainly. Reading or listening to books and other teaching material can support our spiritual journey, but the way we understand love is to be loved, and risk loving others. 

As our world continues to be divided, and as individuals communicate from behind the screens of phones, I pray that we might remember to nurture our relationships. Religions is not about hurling what we consider to be truth at people we believe to be wrong. It is about being in relationship with our neighbors, and risking loving them. Not a sentimental love, but the agape-love that Jesus taught: empowering, uplifting, boundary setting, grace filled, and requiring forgiveness. In those relationships we will try and we will make mistakes; we will do so with God's help, and we will grow. 

The woman and man who's denominations forbade their relationship were married over 60 years until he died. They were faithful in worship, and loving parents to four children. Their religious institutions (and parents) made mistakes, but the religious teachings they each grew up with helped them know they should elope and be married even it if disappointed others for the sake of their relationship.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Abide in me

-
Image
One of the repeated phrases in the movie The Big Lebowski is "The Dude Abides." It's one of my favorite movies, and during seminary, we would watch it before going out for late-night bowling. The abide word stood out to me because around the same time I was really into that movie, I was also struggling to learn a little bit of Biblical Greek. The abide word is all over St. John's Gospel. That word, abide, is just one English translation of the Greek word  μένω or menoe. It may also be translated stay, remain, dwell, live, or be.  After discovering it, μένω became part of my prayer life, especially in my meditation practice. It points me toward letting go of action, worry, thinking; away from all that I do to keep myself busy, and just be with Christ. Christians sometimes think we know better than God and spend a lot of time telling God about the way things should be. I'm not saying we shouldn't share what's heavy on our hearts with God. I'm all for tha...
Read more

Bread in the Wilderness

-
Image
Originally published in the South Jetty Newspaper September 2016 I love camp food. I don’t mean the food they serve at summer camp cafeterias, though that can also be tasty. I love the simple, delicious food eaten around a campfire. Macaroni and cheese tastes best after hiking up a long windy trail. One of our family favorite meals is a “hobo dinner:” It’s a heap of ground meat, cheese, ketchup, onions, and anything else you might want to throw in the cooler on the way out the door, all wrapped up in aluminum foil, and cooked right in the campfire coals.  It could be the fatigue, the environment, or the primitive feeling of conversation around a fire that makes the food taste so good. But probably simple campfire meals taste so good because they are sustenance in the wilderness. It is the food that is available out, away from any fast food options.  In those situations, oftentimes simple meals are the most meaningful.  Thomas Merton, one of my favorite spiritual writers, ...
Read more

Now and forever

-
Image
Week after week, or perhaps in our daily prayers, we conclude our reading of the psalms by praying: Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning is now, and will be forever. Amen. Now, and forever. Amen. What we call the past is only a memory and what we call future is only imagined. We cannot be either place. What we actually have is only now. And forever. Now and forever are two sides of the same reality. Living in the kingdom of God means being present to this time and space where we are. For this now, here in this space, we pray to be open to the movement of the Holy Spirit. Another now be fully present to your family, your friends, or even your work. We cannot live past or future, but only the Present now. Being present now means we are present in forever. Stepping a toe into the eternity of life Jesus has given us. In the glory of the Trinity, we have now, and forever. These ashes are a reminder of that. Ash Wednesday, I wrote a poem in ...
Read more