Doing the Difficult Thing

When I think back across my life, both to the big decisions, and the day by day choices, it is often the seemingly difficult path that is the best one. Those decisions are difficult mainly because they are uncomfortable, or make others uncomfortable in the short term. I disappointed one of my best High School friends by choosing to attend the college that really seemed like the best fit for me. He and I had talked about going to one college together and dreamed of what might happen with our band at the time. Then the day came when I had to make the decision and let go of that dream myself. I know I upset his expectations as I had that uncomfortable conversation about my decision. He and I are both relatively successful in the paths life has taken us down, and I for one am so thankful to have found my way to the college where I met my wife, Laura, and got to know the church in this part of the state. 

Years later, when I left a comfortable life in Houston, again, I had to weigh what seemed to be the expectation of people around me, what I perceived to be the assumed way my career might unfold. I weighed two possible paths, and which opportunity was actually best for my family and I. It was in many ways the more difficult choice to upset the expectations of others and follow my gut feeling. But Trinity by the Sea was where I felt the Holy Spirit was leading me. Thank God I did listen to what I discerned I was being called to, instead of going along with the expectations of others. 

Then there are the little every-day choices we make, that add up to big life changes. As I have begun a new training program for an upcoming distance race I hope to complete, I have face down the inertia of laziness every day to get out there and put in miles from my plan. I usually feel better afterward, even when I do have to ride the struggle bus for a while. Sometimes the little daily choices are speaking truth to friends, or upsetting a good vibe (for some) in order to give voice to the right choice as the Holy Spirit nudges us along. The little choices lead to something greater. In spite of what the collective mood around us might be, we often know when we are just going along to please the spirit of the times we find around us rather than listening to the truth-telling Holy Spirit which calls us to build a greater world one conversation, one decision, one meal, or one mile at a time. 

When Jesus was growing close to the end of his ministry, he laid it out plainly for his disciples. He would be arrested, be tried, sentenced to public execution, and buried. One of his closest friends, a student who had been with him most of his ministry told him to shut up. Peter did not want to spoil the vibe, didn't want to face that reality to which Jesus was called. Peter didn't want to hear any talk about Jesus' death and maybe he didn't understand at all about the resurrection. Jesus, in turn, called Peter by a demonic name, and told him to get behind him. Peter, as was a pattern for him, wanted things to be static, to stay the same, he wanted to control the situation, and keep everyone happy. Jesus told him to stop being a road block and to follow him. 

The first followers of Jesus were not called Christians, but rather, followers of The Way. Jesus showed that the way of suffering, service to others, lifting up the lowly, and freeing the oppressed was the Way his disciples would have to live. That often means making difficult choices. The metaphorical death we may have to die is that of a choice, of an unhealthy relationship, or a false reality that only serves the needs of a few. The word decide shares the same root word as pesticide and herbicide. When we decide, we put possible path of our lives to death so that we can live another path.  

I'm not Jesus. I've made plenty of the easy choices, some of them I quickly identified and corrected, and some of them I didn't regret at all. There are days when the miles don't happen, when difficult decisions are postponed or left to someone else to make. As a follower of the Way of Jesus, I try to come back to this reality: follow Jesus who walked the way of suffering and of agape love. That is the love which empowers others. It is a love that often requires difficult choices. As we approach Holy Week, and take a liturgical, a prayerful walk with Jesus to and through the cross, I am asking God to reveal what areas of my life are ready to die, what decisions am I called to make, so that I may be raised wholly with him on Easter Day.