Make us mindful of the needs of others

    When I was about the age my son is now, starting my middle school journey of transformation, my dad printed out a table blessing for me to memorize. We had a glass top on our dining table so he slipped it under the glass, and I got to read it each night at dinner until I could say it by heart: "Give us grateful hearts, our Father, for all thy mercies, and make us mindful of the needs of others; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen." It's a simple prayer that is packed with pithy wisdom that I return to again and again. 

    Through adolescence, of the things we might become mindful of, others' needs can fall off the radar. It is a time when our ego comes into it's own: We discover we are separate from our parents with our own ideas and desires. Our sexuality awakens and we find attraction to people we may have been repulsed by just months before. It is a time of discovering peer pressure and peer competition. Through those delightful years and into early adulthood we learn to take care of our own needs, our own education, and find our own place in the world. 

    Adolescence is a time when, in some cultures, youth undergo a rite of ritual kidnapping from their parents' home, to be taken away with their peers into the wilderness to learn wisdom of the elders. They learn community values and learn that they can survive on their own apart from their parents. It is the time in my own tribe when we have the rite of Confirmation: when youth take ownership of their faith, and they learn that although they are changing, nothing can separate them from the Love of God. They learn to turn to Christ for help; as the table blessing states, we seek to do things, "through Jesus Christ our Lord." 

    Without such teaching from the elders we may get stuck an adolescent state. Certainly life will
eventually teach us to be mindful of the needs of others. Life will, at some point, give us seemingly insurmountable challenges: loss of a job, the death of a loved one, an addiction, or lost relationship, leaving us brokenhearted. When we find that we are the ones in need, we quickly become mindful of the

needs of others. 

    Wisdom may be learned through life, from nature, and for those fortunate to have a religious community, through scripture. The teachings of our elders is handed down, if we would care to read it. Not that is keeps us from making our own mistakes, yet having the teachings at heart can serve as guideposts, so we can find our way back. 

    We have recently started a Bible Study focused on the wisdom literature of the Bible. Wisdom literature addresses many aspects of life from different perspectives, yet, one thread that runs through Job, Ecclesiastes, and Proverbs is not to take temporal fortune for granted. Even the Psalms remind us: remember you were once strangers in strange land. We learn among the wisdom teachings to care for those who are less fortunate than ourselves. One reason is that there's not much is keeping us from finding ourselves in a similar situation; whatever temporal fortune we enjoy is not guaranteed. "There, but for the grace of God, go I." as one English martyr put it. 

    Sometimes when we live with relative fortune, we might fall into thinking we uniquely have God's favor. Such hubris often leads to even more suffering when the crisis comes along. We might fall into disillusionment, and even lose our immature faith. (This too can lead to learning wisdom and a faith of much more depth.) I have certainly lived in hubris and learned humility the hard way. I am grateful to have had my own elders teach me enough that I could at least fall back into to the wisdom teachings of scripture, to the example of humble saints, to a simple table blessing that reminds me again and again: to be "...mindful of the needs of others, through Jesus Christ our Lord."

    Living with "grateful hearts," and "being mindful of the needs of others," can be learned in many ways. I am hopeful that in a world that has little patience for wisdom that the Church might still influence some of our young people to learn wisdom. All of us, young and old, could stand to practice being mindful of the needs of others, and through such practice to experience the joy and gratitude that comes when we are able to help those less fortunate than ourselves. Thereby we bring healing to the rifts in our human family. 

    We say the prayer so often that I think my son may have it memorized accidentally. Maybe it's time I print a copy for the dining table just to be sure. He's setting off on his own journey to adulthood, and when he needs it, I hope he will be able to pray to God for gratitude and mindfulness that comes, "...through Jesus Christ, our Lord."