I will with God's help.

I will with God's help.

It was only as I began my drive back from North Carolina on Sunday that I learned our nation was on fire.

I drove up there for a very quick trip to help my parents get settled in for the summer, and Eli was my traveling companion. When I let Laura know our travel plans to return, she said I should pay attention to the curfews in Atlanta and Houston. (?!) That's when I started trying to catch up with the news feed. Oh, wow!

On our journey, Eli and I listened to a story on NPR's Code Switch called, "A Decade of Watching Black People Die." In order to begin to understand George Floyd's death (may he Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory) I thought Eli should, we should, hear from black people about the deaths we are witnessing, and to try to hear their perspective.

It seems like George Floyd's death at this time during this pandemic with this political climate has led to the explosion we are witnessing--we are experiencing--in our country. Just as we began to prepare to reopen the church safely during COVID-19, as the vestry grappled with how to keep people safe who so want to gather together, this killing is raising our awareness of a whole different social epidemic that has existed long before the novel coronavirus we are battling. The racism that exists in our country, which is often completely unconscious to white folk like me who live with privilege. The racism is all too apparent, palpable, and unescapable to people in our country who are born with black skin. Our presiding bishop, The Rt. Rev. Michael Curry has lived with that reality, and I am so thankful he is in the role he is in right now, to teach and lead us through this time. Here is his message for Pentecost Sunday which fell in the midst of the protests, riots, and mourning for George Floyd and the outcry for justice. I highly recommend watching that, even if you don't return to reading this.

As for last Sunday at Trinity by the sea, we had pre-recorded our Sunday service. The sermon focused on the symbols of the Holy Spirit, and learning to pay attention to what the Spirit might be up to in our midst. I recorded part of the service in the dark, so that the fire of the candles shone brightly. Water was blessed, and I referenced the uncontrollable wind (the wind blows where it wills) as symbols of what we call the Holy Spirit--the ever present gift from Jesus to empower the church to do his work.

Little did I know when I recorded it that there would be plenty of fires, very visible, across our country. The desperate and destructive actions of setting public fires and looting often derail the conversation. It's still part of the outcry, but often distracts from the more intentional, mature, conscious message of the protests. That message is a cry for justice, and once again, the plea: Black lives matter.

Black lives do matter, and the message of that movement does not seek to undermine the worth of any other skin color, race, ethnicity, nor class. It is to say black lives matter, too. Our country doesn't always act like that is the case, and so the movement says it loudly, repeatedly, and hopefully: black lives matter. Amen! Alleluia!

Was the Holy Spirit at work in the protests? I believe it was. I believe there is a message to the church, and to our country we have been ignoring. Was there destruction on the fringes of the protests that was taken too far? Yes. Desperate people who feel they have no other options lash out in desperate, destructive actions. Yet, those fires across America reminded me of the fire that danced among the disciples. I don't think that's how those who set the fires intended it, but a symbol is a symbol. It caught my attention and threw me into wondering the deeper meaning of all of this--that's what symbols do.

The response I believe we are called to first is to listen, then respond with spiritual depth and maturity.

In our baptismal covenant, we are asked if we will "...seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself... strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being." Our answer is, "I will with God's help." We aren't asked to do any of that alone, not from the shallow source of our own power and will, but by learning humility, recognizing our vulnerability, and asking for God's help. I will with God's help.

And then, we can do anything. Even impossible things. We can be transformed. We can begin to see the world as God sees it. We can witness Good News in the world, and proclaim it. We can walk in Love as Christ loved us.

There have been some beautiful responses to the protests: Clergy of many religions and ethnicities, including Episcopalians marching along in the protests or supplying water, food, and medical supplies. Chiefs of police meeting with the protesters to march together, "...turning protests into parades..." of solidarity. People of many skin-tones in street clothes, kneeling with police officers just as diverse to show we are one people in one struggle. More of that, please.

I'm still reeling from yet another shift in our reality, and I'm learning what I can.

I will start by listening to the voices erupting across our country, and try to learn and understand as best I can. I will pray for racial reconciliation, for reconciliation across party lines, and for reconciliation between God and humanity. I pray for a vision of that heavenly city, and that more of us will recognize the Image of God in black faces, or as the movement puts it, to remember that Black Lives Matter.

I see you, and I hear you.

I will with God's help.

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