All Shall Be Well

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I recently had the gift of praying at St. Julian's chapel at an Episcopal retreat center in North Carolina. I was there for a clergy wellness retreat; On the retreat we spent time identifying personal core values, praying in community, breaking bread with my clergy colleagues, and receiving some spiritual nourishment. The faculty guided us in developing a rule of life that touched on all the important areas of our lives.

Each time I gathered with my small group in the chapel named for St. Julian's, I remembered her simple and profound teaching: "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well." It is a statement of trust in God, and a reminder that though we may be facing a difficult time, God is still present and working through human hearts to make all things well.

At one point, I confessed to my group that although I like to put on the persona of someone unafraid, and generally at peace; though I might appear to feel cool about things, the truth is, I worry. I worry a lot and the more I look at the world the more I worry. I worry about things close by: about the life my son will live, about the lives of people at my church and in my family; I worry about my family budget and my church budget;  I worry I am not enough for what I sense God is calling me to do.

And in all that worry, I am pretending I am far more important than I actually am. I tell my self that I am supposed to be in control, and I temporarily forget that God is the one in control, not me. I think I know what needs to happen, and again and again I discover God's mysterious ways are taking us places we can never even imagine. A reality where all is truly well, and shall be well.

That makes me feel grateful to God. That reminds me that God is God, and that my task is to be James, a servant of God. It also reminds me that others may be in a similar state of imagining themselves to be at the center instead of God and that fills my heart with compassion for the most frustrated of people in the world who make terrible choices out of their own pain. I feel companion for those who do not know "All manner of thing shall be well."

I am grateful for Lady Julian of Norwich for her words and her teachings. She certainly faced her own challenging times during the 14th century. God spoke through her then, and her words might remind  us today: "All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

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