Remembering the Dead

Originally published in the South Jetty Newspaper

I became fascinated with the Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) observances when I was a youth minister: one of our adult mentors taught us about it, and we set up a small altar for pictures of loved ones. One parent even made sweet bread, and I think we had candy sculls to share. We placed marigolds on the altar as we told stories of those we remembered. For me it was a chance to learn about their families, including the losses they had suffered. It gave all of us an opportunity to know we were not alone in our grief, and to remember our loved ones are still with us. In our modern culture we either view anything related to death as morbid and hide from it, or we rebelliously make light death in a distanced, general way way. For example, look at all the pirate flags around town. That symbol was taken from Christian art: the scull and crossbones was often depicted at the feet of Christ on the cross, symbolizing his ultimate victory over death. Pirates took the symbol used it as a fear tactic in their terrorizing raids, and now we use it as a cute golf cart ornament. I'm not above it I bought a Hooks "Muertos" cap at the last game I attended. There, the beautiful artwork taken from the traditional Mexican Dia de los Muertos celebration was put on a ball cap as part of their marketing.
Death is painfully real. It is part of life, and in our funeral service we pray that in death, life is changed, not ended. So, why do we push it away, or unconsciously make light of it? Maybe it is an effort to protect ourselves from that awareness, or to deal with it another time. I am making an effort through my own grief, and awareness of the grief that so many of us carry to be more intentional, and to talk about it. That altar we used with the youth group gave us a way to talk about those who we missed, and even about the pain of loss that many of us carry. 

This year, I'll be placing photos of my nieces on an altar at the church among the photos of other loved ones who have gone on before us. You can do the same thing in your home, and this is the season for it. The celebrations are traditionally from October 31-November 2 (All Hallow's Eve, All Saints' Day, and All Souls Day.) Creating a Dia De Los Muertos altar for loved ones who have died brings the reality of death close to home, into the home, and is a reminder that death does not get the final word (the original use of the scull and cross bones symbol.) 

The cultural Halloween will be what it will be; a real treat for your soul is to be intentional about remembering those ancestors and loved-ones who have gone before. Create a tangible reminder of their real presence with you. It might help in your own healing, and if you have children it will teach them about the reality of death, and about the eternal presence of that great cloud of witnesses who has gone on before us, and who we remember are still with us in spirit.