deflation

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This is a pretty good day for me to write about deflation--I'm feeling worn out after a wonderful Sunday full of baptism and confirmations during our visit from Bishop Lillibridge, our diocesan bishop. His and Bishop Reed's visits have been good experiences since I've been here at Trinity, in the Diocese of West Texas, and this one was as well. Now it's complete, I'm feeling a little worn out, and that's normal.
Sometime last year, I was in a similar place, but was feeling more worn out than usual; it was a series of big events rather than just one big Sunday. When I miss taking my day off and things are busy, I eventually run out of energy. So, I carved out some time to get away for a little refreshing trip that included hearing a friend play a house concert. I also planned to go see a mentor who I used to meet with regularly. It was my rush to get to see him that led me to postpone stopping for gas for too long, and then I got on that new fancy highway out east of San Antonio and Austin, where they don't believe in gas stations. As I hoped to see a Valero or Shell sign around the next bend, I ran out of gas. I laughed at myself, and called my mentor to let him know I wouldn't make it. He asked me if my truck had a gas gauge, and if my sensate function was working (could I see and read the gas gauge.?.) I deserved those questions, and answered both in the affirmative. I missed the meeting I was rushing to, and waited for a local tow truck to bring me gas.
I was feeling humbled, sitting in the rain, pondering the dual running-out of gas, first in my inner world, then in my outer world. I now had a funny story to tell my friend who's concert I was going to that night, that that was that.
Until the next morning, when I discovered my tire was flat on my truck. I took all these pictures then, knowing I'd be ready to write about it sometime...later.
And now is later. I'm not suggesting that my fatigue caused my tire to go flat, but if I had been a bit more energized, I probably would have stopped for gas sooner. The funny thing about that is that my mentor who I was trying to go see is the one who has tried to teach me about taking my day off, and keeping up my spiritual practices to keep myself healthy. Unless I take care of myself, I'm not much use to anyone else.
Since I use this blog to write about the spiritual practices I keep, here's the deflated side and the honest reminder that I don't always keep up those practices, just like I don't always keep up maintenance on my truck. The flat tires were bound to happen sometime, it just happened to be on this trip when I was already feeling deflated myself. 
Once, when I was a youth minister, I was complaining about how busy I was, and another mentor asked me who kept my schedule. "I do," I blurted out...oh. Many of  us work at jobs that don't start and stop at a certain time. The ease-of-access through smartphones brings further complexity. My reality is that I could literally work 24/7, and never be "finished." Except that I would soon be finished. Instead of getting to that point, these little encounters with my limitations, and the limitations of my truck, serve as a reminder check my internal gas gauge, and to fill up on a regular basis, not when I'm completely out of gas. 

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